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Refleksi Diri

FOKUS
Mengapa Allah turunkan bencana?
Dalam Al-Hijr ada pesanan
15 sebab turunnya bencana

FIQH
Solat sunat antara Maghrib dan Isya'
Perkahwinan di dalam Islam
Nikah dengan wanita hamil yang berzina

AKIDAH
Rahsia di sebalik solat dan puasa
Solat yang sia-sia

REFLEKSI DIRI
Apsal takut pegi usrah?
Am I in love?

AKHLAK
Pahala membantu tetangga & anak yatim
Riak

TINTA SAHABAT
Hari ini Abang menangis
Jika kau benar-benar cintakan Tuhanmu
Untukmu Muslimah

KOLEKSI SINAR
Koleksi-koleksi Sinar

Am I in love?

        There was once a time when I thought that I was in love. It was such a feeling that I thought that I didn't need anything else. I wish now that it could have been different, but then again perhaps I couldn't be the person I am now if it wasn't so.

        I suppose a lot of people go through this stage in some part of their lives. It was obvious to everyone around us that we had some kind of'chemistry, and that's all I remember of how it started. I guess it seemed a good enough basis for us to go steady, and so we did. Of course, 1 admired her a lot for there were so many things that made me fell in love with her. Her traits, her talents, her compassion, and even her smile all made me feel the way I felt about her. I remember that it was that smile of hers that never ceased to trigger me to do the same. This all came to the extent that I believed that everything that I did would do it for her. In fact, I came to accept that I couldn't live without her as if she was 'key to my life'. I suppose, at the time, her feelings for me were likewise. The best thing about that was that she took me as I was. As a result, we shared a lot of thing together from interests, opinions, to vision for the future. We cared and we 'loved' so much so that everyone thought we were the couple of the class. 

But my heart wasn't so much 'at peace' as the relationship progressed.

Yes, of course in the beginning it was all 'lovey-dovey', but there came a point where we became restless with each other and I was beComing more and more depressed. I can't blame her for that. Yet there was something still missing in my life and I knew then that the relationship we had did not prove what i was seeking for all this while.

To be honest, it was a real transformational change for me. As I think now with a clearer mind, I can now fathom what was it that I really wanted from that relationship. And what I wanted from it was actually to gain some kind of contentment, some inner peace, a sense of tramquility.

This was when I began to think abou love, and where it comes from. After a lot of refelcting, and 'soul-searschning', I began to realise that the one who love did it for a purpose. We know that we do so by loving our parents, family, wives or husbands, friends and even the environment. Yet foremost is the love to God. And why shouldn't it be? For we as humans are not perfect, but God IS, and what is better than to love the One who is perfect and free from the flaws? As his names suggest, Ar-Rahman and ArRahim encompases the extent of His love to all His creation and His love to the believers. And so it it now the love of my life. But I also pray and hope to Him that He pairs me with someone whom also understand this and that we live togeher for His pleasure and mercy.

I also learnt that to love Allah is to do what He has told us to do as conveyed in the Qur'an, and His Messenger's Sunnah. For if we were to love him, surely we would want to please Him, and InsyaALlah, He is pleased with us if we do what He has told us to do and when we avoid the thing that He forbide us from. 

And as I read the meaning of the following verse I understand better of what I had went through...

" Tell them (O Prophet): 'if your fathers and your sons and your brothers and your wives and your tribe and the riches you have acquired and the commerce of which you fear a slackening and the dwellings that you love, are dearer to that Allah and His Messenger and Striving in His Cause, then wait until Allah brings out His decree. Allah does not guide the evil-doing folk' "

(At-Taubah :24)
Now I know and have full conviction that Allah is the key to my life and that pray that everything I do from now on, I do it for You, Ya Ar-Rahman, Ar-Rahim. WalLahu'alam.

NB: Any part of this story which is the same or similar to the experiences of living or deceased individuals is purely coincidental.

WalLahu'alam.